So I though together a fun little Excel sheet that had the year, my age, and my soon-to-be-born childrens' ages on it. Some interesting fun facts:
- I'll be 32 when they first head off to pre-school (or pretty school as I called it when I was 4 or 5).
- I will be a 44 year old father teaching a pair of 16 year old know-it-alls how to drive. I'm sure I will consider reaching over to jerk the steering wheel toward a bridge abutment more than once.
- I will be 46 when they graduate from high school (or I'll be 52 when they decide dropping out of high school was a bad idea and get their GED).
- I'll be drinking away my sorrows at a bar on my 50th during the same year they celebrate 21 years of sobriety by drinking till they throw-up, get arrested, get in a fight, or preferably, all of the above.
- They will be married (if averages hold) around the time I plan on retiring (age 53).
- They will be birthing their 1st (and probably 2nd) child when I am hitting 56 and still wishing I could retire.
- They will be dealing with teenagers around the time I actually retire (age 70).
- They will be long retired at age 72 when I am 100 years old, just getting my ACAS, and rotting away, forgotten, in some nursing home.
There is no way I'm going to be saving this spreadsheet.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Reminder...
Apparently Lauren can't figure out what day of the week it is, so I'll just remind her.
Its your birthday.
Its your birthday.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Follow up to Winterfest...
One important part of the Kowalski story from yesterday is that I asked the wife if she knew Brian Kowalski and she asked, "Is that the guy who knocked his teeth out on the train tracks?"
If that doesn't sum up my years in Chicago, I don't know what does.
If that doesn't sum up my years in Chicago, I don't know what does.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Winterfest...
The Brewers of Indiana Guild had its first annual Winterfest beer festival. I had a great time hanging out with some buddies from high school and drinking some delicious brews. Here are some highlights:
- I bumped into Brian "I-knew-it-started-with-a-K" Pulaski. I hadn't seen that guy in 4 or 5 years.
- Most phenomenal beer of the day: Stone 11th Anniversary Ale. WOW! Hops like you would not believe.
- Runner up: Two Brothers Domaine DuPage. It was a nice Oktoberfestish type of fall beer. It had that swishing through dried leaves smell to it.
- Let down of the day: Three Floyd's Oatgoop was all gone! Note to Three Floyd's: instead of putting three kegs in the back of your 1992 Honda Prelude, please just rent a van and bring more like ENOUGH kegs to feed everyone. Thanks.
All in all, a great day. It was ridiculously crowded and they actually turned away a buttload of people. Hopefully they know what to expect for next year and have better crowd management and more space.
I can't wait to be at the festival 15 years from now and tell some whipper-snapper, "I've been coming to this festival since it started back in 2009. See, I've got all the little tasting cups!"
- I bumped into Brian "I-knew-it-started-with-a-K" Pulaski. I hadn't seen that guy in 4 or 5 years.
- Most phenomenal beer of the day: Stone 11th Anniversary Ale. WOW! Hops like you would not believe.
- Runner up: Two Brothers Domaine DuPage. It was a nice Oktoberfestish type of fall beer. It had that swishing through dried leaves smell to it.
- Let down of the day: Three Floyd's Oatgoop was all gone! Note to Three Floyd's: instead of putting three kegs in the back of your 1992 Honda Prelude, please just rent a van and bring more like ENOUGH kegs to feed everyone. Thanks.
All in all, a great day. It was ridiculously crowded and they actually turned away a buttload of people. Hopefully they know what to expect for next year and have better crowd management and more space.
I can't wait to be at the festival 15 years from now and tell some whipper-snapper, "I've been coming to this festival since it started back in 2009. See, I've got all the little tasting cups!"
Thursday, January 22, 2009
New TV show...
So I've decided to invent a new TV show. This is my proof of intellectual property for my new show. TM.
The show will be called Law & Order: CVU. The CVU stands for Constitutional Violations Unit. These investigators will be charged with the arrest and prosecution of those who don't uphold the Constitution in their daily lives. Some of the episodes I've come up with so far:
- Senators and Representitives will be arrested when it is found they are legislating things other than Interstate Commerce.
- A sting operation is in effect where the Unit has information a fellow named Brady that a gun is going to commit a crime. Turns out that after days of investigation and stakeouts, the gun is still just sitting there on the table, not moving, not commiting a crime. The conclusion is that guns DON'T hurt people; criminals with guns DO hurt people. The second amendment is safe to live another day.
- In the season finale, CVU brings the President of the United States up on charges of perjury. They have him on camera, stating that he will uphold and protect the Constitution of the United States of America. Despite his degree in Constitutional Law, he never had any intention of upholding or protecting the constitution.
Now this all sounds silly, but it brings up some interesting points. President Obama was sworn in two days ago. As a part of that swearing in, he repeated the Presidential Oath. Unfortunately, a Nervous Nelly Chief Justice misspoke the Oath. The President ended up re-doing the Oath later that evening because he wanted to uphold the Constitution and do things the right way. I hope he takes that role very seriously and stands up for the rights of States and individuals. Just the same way he stood up for something as trivial as the correct wording of the Presidential Oath.
The show will be called Law & Order: CVU. The CVU stands for Constitutional Violations Unit. These investigators will be charged with the arrest and prosecution of those who don't uphold the Constitution in their daily lives. Some of the episodes I've come up with so far:
- Senators and Representitives will be arrested when it is found they are legislating things other than Interstate Commerce.
- A sting operation is in effect where the Unit has information a fellow named Brady that a gun is going to commit a crime. Turns out that after days of investigation and stakeouts, the gun is still just sitting there on the table, not moving, not commiting a crime. The conclusion is that guns DON'T hurt people; criminals with guns DO hurt people. The second amendment is safe to live another day.
- In the season finale, CVU brings the President of the United States up on charges of perjury. They have him on camera, stating that he will uphold and protect the Constitution of the United States of America. Despite his degree in Constitutional Law, he never had any intention of upholding or protecting the constitution.
Now this all sounds silly, but it brings up some interesting points. President Obama was sworn in two days ago. As a part of that swearing in, he repeated the Presidential Oath. Unfortunately, a Nervous Nelly Chief Justice misspoke the Oath. The President ended up re-doing the Oath later that evening because he wanted to uphold the Constitution and do things the right way. I hope he takes that role very seriously and stands up for the rights of States and individuals. Just the same way he stood up for something as trivial as the correct wording of the Presidential Oath.
Anzio...
On today's date in 1944, Allied troops began landing at Anzio, Italy during WWII. I'd like to give a salute to all of Lee's buddies who are still traipsing around the Globe on the USS Anzio!
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Deliciousness and other stuffs...
So on Saturday, the wife and I took the babies on their second in vitro trip to Chicago. Saturday night we played BINGO with Tom and Joanna and some others. We also played "The Game of Things" which, when we bought it looked lame but ended up being one of the best board games we've ever played. I highly recommend it.
Anyway, Sunday morning we ate brunch at Dunley's on Clark. It was great. I had these hash browns that had creme of mushroom soup mixed in. After that we headed over to Ikea to see about procuring some cribs. We ended up liking these $140 cribs, but they were out of stock, so we just picked up some mattresses and planned on ordering them online later. On our way out of the store, I decided to swing through the AS IS section which has scratch and dent returns. While I was browsing, the stock guys pushed out two of the exact cribs we wanted for $75 each. Perfect!
The sad part of the story is the part where the wouldn't quite fit in so I had to take them apart a bit and I broke one of them in the process. It should be easy to fix, but it was still frustrating. We ended up saving the $65 each on the cribs, plus we saved shipping which would have been UPS rates which could have been $308! Talk about savings!
Last but not least, I had a craving on the way home, so to fulfill my desires, we swung by Arni's for an Arni's Jr Salad and a Ground Pepperoni Pizza. They were amazing. On a very positive note, they are putting an Arni's in Greenwood, so I will have access to one of my favorite spots. Of course, it will be no replacement for the Market Square Arni's in Lafayette.
Anyway, Sunday morning we ate brunch at Dunley's on Clark. It was great. I had these hash browns that had creme of mushroom soup mixed in. After that we headed over to Ikea to see about procuring some cribs. We ended up liking these $140 cribs, but they were out of stock, so we just picked up some mattresses and planned on ordering them online later. On our way out of the store, I decided to swing through the AS IS section which has scratch and dent returns. While I was browsing, the stock guys pushed out two of the exact cribs we wanted for $75 each. Perfect!
The sad part of the story is the part where the wouldn't quite fit in so I had to take them apart a bit and I broke one of them in the process. It should be easy to fix, but it was still frustrating. We ended up saving the $65 each on the cribs, plus we saved shipping which would have been UPS rates which could have been $308! Talk about savings!
Last but not least, I had a craving on the way home, so to fulfill my desires, we swung by Arni's for an Arni's Jr Salad and a Ground Pepperoni Pizza. They were amazing. On a very positive note, they are putting an Arni's in Greenwood, so I will have access to one of my favorite spots. Of course, it will be no replacement for the Market Square Arni's in Lafayette.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
A movie and a TV show...
First of all, we watched Forgetting Sarah Marshall. It was a pretty funny movie. One main recommendation about the movie: don't watch the extended version because it only involves male genitalia. Good times. All in all, it had some great lines, but was only just above average.
On an interesting side note, the yoga instructor is Pat the crackpot marriage counselor from The Joe Schmo Show, perhaps the greatest "reality" TV show of all time. Basically, they throw one regular guy named Matt into a typical reality show house. All the rest of the characters are actors who are in on the joke. There is the Rich Bitch, the Gay Guy, the Virgin, the Game Player, the Smarmy Host and others. Anyway, they rig everything up so that crazy stuff happens and the whole time Matt is just a nice guy who can't figure out quite how to react to all these dysfunctional people in the house. His most famous line from the end of the last episode is, "What is going ON?!?!" in a horribly whiny, slightly cracking voice.
Now for the next connection: we are currently watching True Beauty and let me say, Ashton Kutcher is a genius. Punk'd, Beauty and the Geek, and now True Beauty. The premise is that 10 contestants have been brought in because they are good looking. However, the tests on the show are meant to test their character, such as leaving confidential files on a table next to them and seeing if they look at them. At the end, the two worst contestants are taken before the judges and one of them is given the boot. The booted contestant is shown their awful behavior and told the premise of the show. The first week was awesome. The girl completely freaked out and was yelling at the judges about how she wasn't a bad person and she is the hottest chick ever. Should be great.
On an interesting side note, the yoga instructor is Pat the crackpot marriage counselor from The Joe Schmo Show, perhaps the greatest "reality" TV show of all time. Basically, they throw one regular guy named Matt into a typical reality show house. All the rest of the characters are actors who are in on the joke. There is the Rich Bitch, the Gay Guy, the Virgin, the Game Player, the Smarmy Host and others. Anyway, they rig everything up so that crazy stuff happens and the whole time Matt is just a nice guy who can't figure out quite how to react to all these dysfunctional people in the house. His most famous line from the end of the last episode is, "What is going ON?!?!" in a horribly whiny, slightly cracking voice.
Now for the next connection: we are currently watching True Beauty and let me say, Ashton Kutcher is a genius. Punk'd, Beauty and the Geek, and now True Beauty. The premise is that 10 contestants have been brought in because they are good looking. However, the tests on the show are meant to test their character, such as leaving confidential files on a table next to them and seeing if they look at them. At the end, the two worst contestants are taken before the judges and one of them is given the boot. The booted contestant is shown their awful behavior and told the premise of the show. The first week was awesome. The girl completely freaked out and was yelling at the judges about how she wasn't a bad person and she is the hottest chick ever. Should be great.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Canadians tie it up...
Although Cam let me down, I won't let you down. Here is the game tying goal with 5.4 seconds left on the clock...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGXTCUczjDk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGXTCUczjDk
The first big purchase...
So the wife and I headed out on a mission this afternoon. We wanted to knock out some baby stuff. We can't quite get stuff like bottles and things of that nature because we are having a shower (or more accurately, my sister is having a shower for the wife). We did however pick up two car seats.
This has been quite the debacle. It all started when we purchased a car a little over a year ago. We wanted to be somewhat practical and go with the sedan. We ended up getting an Infiniti G35x. We figured, we can throw a rear-facing child seat behind the wife seat, since she is a shortypants and eventually, when we have our second child, the first one can be behind my seat with a forward facing seat. This car will last us through at least two kids! OOPS! As mentioned in previous posts around here, we are having twins, that means two rear-facing seats at once. This is an issue since ol' lanky pants (me) has to have my seat all the way back.
Our first reaction was "We HAVE to sell this car!" It turns out that the seat will fit, but I have to lean my seat forward a tad and slide it forward a bit, but it will all work out.
There you have it, first official baby crisis averted!
A special thanks goes out to my mom's side of the family for the giftcards for the car seats. Peanut and Pickle were going bonkers the entire day. I'm pretty sure they knew we got them some presents.
This has been quite the debacle. It all started when we purchased a car a little over a year ago. We wanted to be somewhat practical and go with the sedan. We ended up getting an Infiniti G35x. We figured, we can throw a rear-facing child seat behind the wife seat, since she is a shortypants and eventually, when we have our second child, the first one can be behind my seat with a forward facing seat. This car will last us through at least two kids! OOPS! As mentioned in previous posts around here, we are having twins, that means two rear-facing seats at once. This is an issue since ol' lanky pants (me) has to have my seat all the way back.
Our first reaction was "We HAVE to sell this car!" It turns out that the seat will fit, but I have to lean my seat forward a tad and slide it forward a bit, but it will all work out.
There you have it, first official baby crisis averted!
A special thanks goes out to my mom's side of the family for the giftcards for the car seats. Peanut and Pickle were going bonkers the entire day. I'm pretty sure they knew we got them some presents.
1 out of 2...
So I just got done watching the Colts lose to the Chargers. I would be much more heartbroken, but it was perhaps the most mediocre game I've ever seen. Philip Rivers threw the ball at the ground about 30 times, Dallas Clark and Anthony Gonzalez were mentioned a total of once in the second half (Anthony dropping a catch that was nearly intercepted), and Darren Sproles was the star of the game because the Indy D barely showed up for the game. Also, the wife mentioned that if the Colts wait till next year, the babies will get to see them win the Superbowl, so that takes some pressure off.
On the other hand, the Canadians won in a shootout at the World Junior Hockey Championships. They scored the game tying goal with 5.4 second remaining after pulling the goalie and dodging a long shot at an empty net. I'll link to the video after Cam over at Fantasy Hockey Scouts posts it tomorrow. Hear me Cam? I need a link!
On the other hand, the Canadians won in a shootout at the World Junior Hockey Championships. They scored the game tying goal with 5.4 second remaining after pulling the goalie and dodging a long shot at an empty net. I'll link to the video after Cam over at Fantasy Hockey Scouts posts it tomorrow. Hear me Cam? I need a link!
Friday, January 2, 2009
Sincerest condolences...
My heart goes out to the family and friends of one of my good friends from Seattle/Chicago, Tony Williams.
Tony moved to Seattle with a buddy on a lark with no money in his pocket and no job. He ended up being the activities coordinator for an old folks home. Between trips to Tulalip Casino and grilling burgers on the patio, Tony was always rocking a smile and a sarcastic comment.
There aren't any details on the situation thus far aside from the fact that Tony went to sleep after a New Year's Eve party and didn't wake up the next morning. Tony was 28 years old.
Tony moved to Seattle with a buddy on a lark with no money in his pocket and no job. He ended up being the activities coordinator for an old folks home. Between trips to Tulalip Casino and grilling burgers on the patio, Tony was always rocking a smile and a sarcastic comment.
There aren't any details on the situation thus far aside from the fact that Tony went to sleep after a New Year's Eve party and didn't wake up the next morning. Tony was 28 years old.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Movie quick reviews...
Unbreakable - M. Night Shamalamadingdong is such a weirdo. He goes so far outside the box, that you know almost exactly what is going to happen. Bruce can't be hurt? Sam breaks all his bones? I wonder if they will be archenemies? I might give this one 2 stars. It is pretty boring though, so we'll bump it to 1.5 stars.
I Am Legend - Most of this movie was Will Smith alone. Kind of reminded me of Tom Hanks in Castaway. It is really weird to watch a movie with only one person in it. The premise itself was kind of stupid. The CGI was terrible. I would put this at somewhere between 2 and 3 stars.
I've got Cable Guy going right now. Superman (the original), Dan In Real Life, Back to the Future Part II, Home Alone, Simpsons Movie, and Assassination of Jesse James all awaiting me. I'll get to those at some point here.
I Am Legend - Most of this movie was Will Smith alone. Kind of reminded me of Tom Hanks in Castaway. It is really weird to watch a movie with only one person in it. The premise itself was kind of stupid. The CGI was terrible. I would put this at somewhere between 2 and 3 stars.
I've got Cable Guy going right now. Superman (the original), Dan In Real Life, Back to the Future Part II, Home Alone, Simpsons Movie, and Assassination of Jesse James all awaiting me. I'll get to those at some point here.
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