Braveheart and an Ugly Betty update...

I heard some excellent news the other day: my wife said she probably wouldn't have watched Grey's Anatomy if she had watched Ugly Betty first (I may be simplifying, but that was the gist). I could not agree more: not that the Ugly Betty writing is spectacular, but that Grey's Anatomy is so poorly put together. I'm not sure how they managed to get shut down by the writers' strike, considering it sounds like a bunch of teenage girls write for the show.

On to more important issues: Braveheart. In the comments of Reut's blog, I mentioned that Braveheart is one of my favorite movies of all time. Watching it with the wife just cemented it.

Time and time again, I'll suggest watching a movie and she'll say something along the lines of, "Is it good? I'll probably fall asleep." Well, usually we have to finish it in two sittings because she DOES fall asleep, but at the end of the movie, she'll say, "Wow, that was really good." I'm not sure if she is insulting my movie watching taste or if she just assumes that most of the stuff that I watch is boring crap. Either way, I'm turning her around.

Braveheart really has it all: some of the most graphic violence you'll ever see, douche baggy guys, hot women, fearless psychopaths (the Irishman and Longshanks), Scottish accents, Brian Cox (aka Denim Dan), and a great soundtrack.

The most unfortunately part of the whole movies is afterward when you want to read some more about William Wallace, the half insane, half brilliant leader who ran the mighty English out of Scotland. According to a quote by Historian Elizabeth Ewan, she describes Braveheart as

a film which almost totally sacrifices historical accuracy for epic adventure...

Not that I care much. It is an awesome movie. See it.

Inspiration comes in strange packages...

And you know Reut is the strangest.

Based on a blog by the other half the A-show, I've decided to do a "feature piece" as we call it in the biz. When I was typing my list of top five movies a guy must see, it was really hard because there are tons of movies that ended up not making the cut that easily could have. Here is the list my the comment on Reuter's blog:

1) Super Troopers (watched ~200 times, the first 20 minutes at least)
2) Braveheart
3) American History X (people who haven't seen this movie look confused when I say Edward Norton is badass)
4) Terminator 2 (just watched recently and the wife loved it too)
5) Raging Bull (Bobby D putting on 60 pounds mid-shoot?)

Where on that list is The Godfather (both I and II)? Star Wars, ESB, RotJ? History of Violence? Usual Suspects? Super Bad?

Of course 5 movies is tough to do. I'll be doing a run down ever day or so of the top movies of a give genre. Not necessarily the top 10; maybe more, maybe less. Look for the first of the series soon (probably tomorrow). In the meantime, look for a recap of Braveheart and Casino along the way.

Hot Fuzz...

So I rented Hot Fuzz which is by the same guys that did Shaun of the Dead. To tell you the truth, no one knows how to do a farce/parody quite like these guys.

Of course "these guys" refer to Simon Pegg and Nick Frost. They are the two lead characters in Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz. As I mentioned in another blog post that Simon Pegg will be playing Scotty in the new Star Trek. Sounds good to me.

The wife had never seen a Pegg/Frost movie, so she had no idea what was in store. She was expecting a goofy, slapstick comedy like Another Teen Movie or Scary Movie. It was nothing like either of those. For the most part, it was fairly serious on the subject, but also laid on the cliches pretty thick.

I was so inspired by the performances that I threw Shaun of the Dead on the top of my Netflix Queue. Should be here in time for the weekend, along with The Wire, disc 2.

Bottomline, watch it. Its a good movie. Simon Pegg is a genius...

The Wire, Disc 1...

So I ended up lying in bed till 12:30am watching The Wire Season 4, Disc 1. What an intriguing, addictive show. My favorite part is the venue of the show: Season 1 was the high rises, Season 2 was the docks, Season 3 was the street corners, and now we are dealing with a middle school.

Haven't really gotten into too much drama, but it is coming...

Ugly Betty...

So my wife got Ugly Betty from Netflix. The writing isn't bad, but it is still a girly show.

My overall rating: Meh. M-E-H. Meh.

Step Up 2: The Streets...

I'll make this one quick:

1) The dancing was awesome. I consider myself to be an excellent dancer. How else would be known as "The Dancing Queen" everywhere from Florida, to IU, to Sweet Home Chicago? Has anyone even SEEN the Air Fiddle? If you doubt my stylz, then obviously not, yo. The last two years me and the wife have been watching So You Think You Can Dance (from now on known as SYTYCD). I've become pretty good at judging what is supposed to be happening vs what is actually happening. The folks in this movie knew what they were doing. The only problem was that I could tell they CGI'd some of the stunts. And the trampoline thing was pretty lame.

2) The script was terrible. I had two reasons for joy over this: 1) I kept telling the wife what was going to happen before it happened and 2) I kept saying "The End" at pivotal points in the movie.

As to the first point, anyone who has watched "the underdog from the wrong side of the tracks goes into high society and eventually brings them around to her Hip Hop world and makes the high society realize that the Hip Hop stuff isn't so bad" movies could have told you what was going to happen in the movie. Basically in this movie, the underdog from the wrong side of the tracks goes into high society and eventually brings them around to her Hip Hop world and makes the high society realize that the Hip Hop stuff isn't so bad.

As to the second point, they always have that pivotal scene where the main character (the wrong side of the tracks person who doesn't fit in) gets frustrated and decides to give up. The End. I want to make a movie where you are expecting them to come back like they do in all the movies. You think they are going to strive and persevere and eventually beat the odds stacked against them. In my movie however, after 30 minutes, the main character gives up and decides to work at McDonald's and becomes a full-time pot smoker. That is a movie I want to see.

On a related note, I am still waiting for Fox to have enough balls to come out with a new show that they show tons of commercials for during football and then at the end of the first episode, the main character dies. The End. Imagine if at the end of the first hour of the first day if they had Jack Bauer get killed and the terrorists win or the nuclear bomb ends up going off. The End. Hilarious. That would be the talk of the town for years!

HD DVD update...

So HD DVD is dead. Walmart said they are going to be removing all players and media from their stores by June. Rumors around the industry say that Toshiba is going to start making Blu Ray players. I don't know how reliable that is, but I don't think it is too much to say that Toshiba will quit making HD DVD stuff.

Answering that age old question...

Why DO East Asians hold up the V sign in pictures? Now you get your answers...

A random person's blog with pictures.

And of course, a little Wikipedia action...

HD DVD: Dead in the Water...

First off, some background: in terms of quality of video and sound, both HD DVD and Bluray provide the same quality of output - 1080p and multiple channel sound. The only difference was that two different methods of delivering that output were devised - the HD DVD disc (which is not compatible with DVD) and Bluray disc. It appeared that there was a stalemate between which one customers would choose, if either at all.

Then Warner announced back in early January that they would be supporting Blu Ray exclusively. This changed alot but it seemed that HD DVD could still hang on. Recently, however, Netflix announced that it would faze out HD DVD over the next few months and support Bluray exclusively. Best Buy said they were going to carry HD DVD but most of the shelf space would be for Bluray. The HD DVD camp is pretty much done at this point.

So where to I stand on all this? Both are going to basically crap out. Why would anyone want to have an optical disc? It gets scratched, has moving parts, and can break. I want a small SD card or memory stick with movies on it. That would be so much easier to deal with, but alas, I am not in charge, am I?

For the record, I have an HD DVD player that I bought on sale and it was the floor model at Sears. With tax, I paid $96, so I have a very small investment in this whole mess. I guess my next purchase needs to be a PS3 so I can have a Bluray player and play all my HD netflix movies...

The Wire Season 4...

So the fourth season of the best show ever just got tossed in the mail by Netflix. If you haven't watched The Wire, please do. A little warning: it is gritty, violent, curse filled, but completely relevant. It really gets you thinking about social issues that I, as a white professional, rarely (if ever) come in contact with. Apparently season 4 takes it to a whole new level.

Terminator 3: As usual, 2 is enough...

There are some definite rule breakers out there: Star Wars, Empire Strikes Back, and Return of the Jedi. Raiders of the Lost Ark, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, and Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Fellowship of the Ring, Two Towers, and Return of the King.

However, you will not find The Terminator, T2: Judgment Day, and T3: Rise of the Machines on that list. T3 was awful for numerous reasons. Let's go through them now, shan't we?

!!! Spoiler Alert !!! Of course it is a crappy movie, so don't worry too much.

First of all, some triquels don't fit in well with the rest of the movies, however they have good acting, an enticing story, and are creative. Godfather 3 fits the bill here. It wasn't as good as the first two and took a completely different angle, but aside from Sophia Coppola, there isn't much to complain about. Even as a standalone movie, T3 fails rather messily.

The acting was HORRENDOUS!!! I wish I could find strong enough words for how bad the acting was. Arnold (who was doing this while also being governor of what could arguably be the most messed up state in the US) was just spouting off revisions of catch phrases from the prior movie to John Connor. Incidently, Ed Furlong didn't come back for this crapfest so they decided to use William H. Macy's younger brother as the new John Connor. Screw trying to find someone who kind of sort of looks like Ed Furlong, let's take this a whole new direction: Ed has black hair? Let's get a blond guy for this installment. Ed was tough in the last movie? Let's find someone who is a pansy. So now I'm supposed to imagine that this new guy who looks nothing like the old guy somehow remembers everything Arnold said before? Got it.

The script couldn't seem to finesse anything. Every single plot twist was announced by Arnold going something like this:
John Connor: Who is Bobby Fisher?
Arnold: He is your lieutenants in the future.
John: Why are we trying to save Kate?
Arnold: She is your wife in the future.
John: How do I die?
Arnold: I kill you in the future because your wife programs me to.

Thanks for the info. We certainly wouldn't want to see Terminator 4 where its the future and we get to see John as a leader of men. And now we don't because we already know that his wife snuffs him out.

Every time there is a scary "quick run away" scene, John and future wife both manage to just stand there. Oh no! The Terminatrix is about to kill you! Oh good, she's neutralized. Now let's stand around for 5 seconds and look at her struggling to de-neutralize herself. Whoops, she's free, we'd better run. Smart move, you dopes.

Let's talk about the Terminatrix now. So the original Terminator (Arnold) was living tissue over a metal skeleton. It had flaws such as, it needed to heal. So then they came up with the T1000 which was a liquid metal Robert Patrick robot that could squeeze under doors and take the shape of anything that had the same volume and wasn't too complex (it couldn't form a gun, for example). However, it became unstable when it was too hot and would start sticking to the floor. So then they came up with something completely new and revolutionary: a liquid metal skin over a metal skeleton. Genius! The first thing Arnold says about her is that she is more powerful, more well equipped, and she can control other machines, so he is no match for her. Of course he battles her punch for punch the entire movie.

She also has these two quirks: she likes to see her own reflection and she does this little head tilt like a cat or a dog would if it wonders what you are doing. Obviously one of those quirks is what is eventually going to be her downfall. For example, she might be distracted by her reflection just long enough for John to shoot her with a rocket launcher. Or maybe she turns her head right before she gets run over by a train. Its perfect! But alas, she gets crush by a helicopter that Arnold crashes on her after she crashed her own helicopter. Then she is crawling legless and gets crushed by a blast door. Makes perfect sense.

To wrap it all up, the wife and I talked during the entire last half the movie about how bad it was. Granted we didn't turn it off, but still.

The one good thing about the movie is that it was on HD DVD and it looked pretty good, especially on the huge TV.

More West Bev...

Apparently, as soon as Aaron Spelling was being lowered into the grave, the heirs of his estate started pumping out the Beverly Hills 90210 DVDs as quickly as possible. While that is great for Bev fans, it is bad for people who enjoy quality DVDs.

1) The music: 90210 was a pioneer in an area we now take for granted. Every episode of One Tree Hill, The OC, and Smallville ends with a little commercial about how you download music from the latest episode on iTunes or you can purchase the artist on Arista Records or something. Somewhere along the line, it became a good idea to purchase the rights to the music for intial airing as WELL as for syndication. That line occurred after 90210 began because I am about sick of the late 80s electric guitar and electric drum set playing a slightly modified version of the theme song on every commercial break and scene cut. Sometimes it menacing if something bad is happening. Sometimes its soft and quiet for a touching scene. Apparently the original music was awesome and featured popular music of the day. Do me a favor and put off the DVDs for awhile while you secure the rights to the music.

2) The video: Apparently they just took old VHS copies that people had recorded over the years and burned them on to DVDs. It is all grainy and there is interlacing artifacts all over the place that are the result of poor digital transfers. Put a little effort into it, people.

That about covers it...

LOLCATZ...

Ok, so cats drive me nuts and I can't stand them. However, I know at least one of you loves kitties, so here is a little item for you...

http://icanhascheezburger.com/category/lolcat/

As a child of the 80s...

I was of the tender young age of 12 when a number of culturally influential television shows hit the airwaves: The Simpsons, Married... with Children, and Beverly Hills 90210. The only catch was that I was not allowed to watch any of them.

I grew up a poor black child. We didn't have a pot to piss in, nor a window to throw it out of, much less a TV to watch while pissing in my pot and throwing it out the window.

Of course, that is all a lie. My parents were quite conservative so The Simpsons (which ironically is one of my dad's better liked shows) was not acceptable, mostly because it was on Fox. At the time, Fox was that young upstart that was full of raunchy humor and shocking situations. Little did I know how much Fox and I would have in common in the future. Needless to say, I love the Simpsons and all it has become. Pretty much the same can be said for Married... with Children.

The actual point of this post was that recently, my wife whooped out the wonderful world of West Beverly on me. I had never really watched 90210 aside from the occasion flipping through channels. All the 90210 I had ever seen was drugs, sex, and psychopaths. Then there was the Shannon Doherty turning into a psychopath in real life thing.

We are in Season 3, which from what I hear takes a turn to the sex, drugs, and psycho show we all came to know and love. What I didn't know was that Seasons 1 and 2 were like after school specials starring the good little midwestern twins Brandon and Brenda in their weekly shenanigans: Bren helping a raped girl, Bren's pregnancy scare which caused to stop being a whore, Bran falling in love with a druggy who slips him some X, Bren's boyfriend and his alcohol problem. The list goes on and on.

I feel like I am catching up on my childhood. I can believe I missed out on dudes in tight jeans, girls with jeans up to their ribs, belts that are 6 inches wide, floral print dresses, poofy bangs, and not to mention Steve Sanders in his shorty shorts. Last but not least is the awfulness that is Tori Spelling. Ol' Aaron Spelling was quite the sucker for his daughter. Obviously not too much of a sucker though since she only got $800k of the fortune that was Aaron Spelling.

Lenten ramblings...

So I've decided to give up television for Lent. I kept telling myself that I could never do it, so I decided that was the best reason TO do it. There will be no DVRing and no watching of television. However, I am allowed to read synopses of new episodes and eventually will be able to rent the season or episodes from Netflix. This will allow for keeping up-to-date on Biggest Loser developments and will allow us to fill in the gaps for the likes of Smallville, One Tree Hill, etc.

Although I am not giving it up, I will be trying to cut back on my movie watching as well, but don't worry, I will still be watching some movies to review.

Next up: Hot Fuzz. It is made by the Shaun of the Dead guys, so hopefully it will be good...

SUPERBOWL RING NEVER WASES!!!

Tom Brady is a douchebag! Condoms always work! Dead beat father! Michigan sucks my balls! Put your foot in a cast! Giselle dumping a weenie asshole! No kicking fieldgoals for you! Dynasties fading fast! Tom Brady named NY Giants MVP! Go NOT Patriots! Boston smells like a jockstrap!

Alpha Dog...

Let me just tell you, I was shocked at how good this movie was after I first heard that Justin Timberlake was starring in a movie.

First off, the characters were well developed and likable. Probably the weakest links in the movie were Bruce Willis with his fake hair and Sharon Stone with her fat suit. The problem with the fat suit may have been that we were watching it in HD which tends to put even the best of makeup jobs to the test. Both Bruce and Sharon felt like they were thrown in because it was hard to understand the story without them. Kind of a narrator of sorts.

Second, the story was really good. I don't know how much was true and how much was creative license, but it held together well. I would have preferred if it would have been an HBO mini-series or something because it had some front-end story that I wish was there. The story mostly takes place in 1999 and then the end skips forward to 2005 or 6. Some pretty cool stuff could have happened during that time too, but they skip that as well.

Third, I liked the climax of the movie. When I saw it, I knew it was a great movie and not a crappy "we got JT in a movie" crapfest. Also, JT is really good in his role. He doesn't really play a suave, cool character which I was expecting. Between this and his Dick in a Box sketch, I am going to have to put him in my John Mayer memorial "Guys that I hated, but are now pretty cool" category. John Mayer partially made the jump in his Dave Chappelle sketches and then peaked with his appearances on Ron and Fez on XM radio.

C-Funk, in case you haven't watched it, Olivia Wilde (aka Alex, Marissa's lesbian girlfriend, from The OC) has a gratuitous nude/sex scene. Good stuff. No point to it, but is there ever?

Bottomline, watch it...